O Happy Day

Yes. Bought myself some happy. I deserve it! This yummy alpaca/tencel blend by Fiesta Yarns will become a Clapotis shawl which I will likely never take off. For those of you who are uninitiated to the world of "viral knitting," you should understand that there are certain patterns floating around the web and bookstores which knitters across the world swoon over and talk about all at once. At the time of this writing, you can browse through photos of 11, 617 different Clapotis shawls on Ravelry, stitched up in every color and fiber under the sun. This thing looks glamtastic on everyone, and I've been searching for just the perfect yarn, colorway, and window of time in which to make one for myself. Eeeeee!!!

I have been through such terrible pain the past few days. Between the bowel prep and the anesthesia and the pain meds, the whole surgery wreaked sheer havoc on my digestive system. Of course, a GI disease is exactly what my ob/gyn thinks is causing all this every-day pain, since we've ruled out endo. Last night, while Jake slept, and I frantically knitted my way through the twisting, stabbing pain to keep from screaming, I slowly turned this over and over in my mind. I've been so depressed over paying for, and suffering through, unnecessary surgery, and so irritated that my self-diagnosis was incorrect, I hadn't really grasped what this new info means.

I am likely not infertile. My uterus is not going to be mysteriously inhospitable due to endo. Yes, we have a problem in Jake's stuff, but there are ways around that which will still allow me to carry, deliver, and nurse our very own child. My fervent baby desires may not be a cruel joke after all! It was such a "Holy Crap" moment, I almost woke Jake up at 6 am to tell him the good news.

Instead, I fell happily to sleep, dreaming about a holy battle between the noble men and women of Middle-Earth, led by Aslan the lion, and the jealous Arabs across the ocean. While Aslan read aloud the Arabian version of "Twas the Night Before Christmas," the Arabs stomped out Middle-Earth's army within the first day and danced on their bones for 39 days. Aslan was not touched but left to watch the torture and desecration swirl around him because his coat had been blessed with immortality by Lorna's Laces.

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